Thursday, June 28, 2012

Negative Nancy

Sorry but this is another "Negative Nancy" kinda post...I am really struggling right now. Hoping to have a "Duncan" post tonight or tomorrow!

I love my job as my church's administrative assistant/office manager/jack-of-all-trades! The sad thing is is that it's only part-time :(  But I have earned a lot of freedom and trust with my job which is really nice and I am responsible for more projects and such. However, I do have a few (more and more lately) things that do pop up to annoy me!

I have always been willing to go above and beyond in this job, hence the freedom, but lately its been feeling more and more like I am being taken advantage of. I am sure this happens in any job but when people just expect you to drop everything for them or give you a project at the last minute, and you can't tell them to *bleep* off or get angry because its a church office, no bieno! Or when apparently something was supposed to be your job or you were to do something but no one every told that!

I am totally okay to do work and projects but not last minute! And if you give me something last minute don't bitch about the quality, or mistakes made! If you wanted it perfect, you should have asked a month or 2 before hand!

Case in point, 2 weeks before summer children's ministry was to start, the associate pastor told me that I need to get on organizing volunteers and here's the list, do background checks, etc. I had been asking about this information for 2 months leading up to this!!! ARUGH! Seriously! I had 2 weeks to organize teachers, assistant and support staff! And I had to run the new computerized check-in system.

I haven't been to a church service in 2 months! I know I could go to early church (we only offer Sunday school during 2nd service) but I like my sleep and spending time with my husband who works Sunday evenings. I honestly believe the last time I went to church was Mother's Day (May 13th!)!

And now somehow I am responsible for Vacation Bible School stuff....great! I am drawing the line! I am helping in our children's ministry without complicant more than the parents of children in the ministry but seriously!

This is also stems from that as part-time, I am only paid for the hours I work in the office and in the almost two years I have worked here, I have only received one, 5%, rise. For what I make an hour, 5% = 60 cents more an hour! What?!?!

This is why I have restarted my job search. I know this happens in every job but if I am going to be treated like this I would like to know that my time and energy are paid for.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Musings from a Poor Newlywed...

Okay, so I guess, technically we are passed that "Newlywed" phase. However, I have declared that we are newlyweds until we have baby. Sweet! My brother's best friend, Greg and his wife, Jay-Jay, loved this because they have been married a long time, have no children and plan on keeping it that way, so they will always be newlyweds/honeymooner's!

Back to the musings, in case anyone is wondering, I was job searching this winter and stopped because I was discouraged because I was not hearing back from any of the positions I had applied for. Well, I have started the hunt once again; feeling a little burnt out and taken advantage of in my current position. Yes, burn out and being taken advantage of happens in the church! Shocker, but remember Christians are humans too! And its mostly in my head and me being overly sensitive sometimes.

My main motivation for this surge in sending resumes again; is also due in part because I am a selfish human who wants material goods! Jon and I make it and are very blessed by the life we have but its that human nature sneaks in and makes me doubt. And Stalkerbook has had me feeling left behind by my peers; in this area. Many of them have careers in their degree; are from weathly, small families; so I have been feeling the little, green jealous monster on my back.  Now, I am not proud of these feelings or misjudgements. Which they probably are!

My reasons for these feelings is that my dream at this time would be to work 1 full-time job and alas this dream is alluding me! I do not know why, apparently I must not be good on paper. PLEASE someone give me a chance! I would kill to make double what I make a year now; not even to have material things but to have an awesome safety net so that unexpected bills don't set us back and to start a retirement fund, or even college funds for future chidlren! To have paid vacations, to be able to take an actual vacation without worrying that it will set us back a month; etc.

I know I frustrate Jon with my worries; he doesn't seem to worry as much as he used too which is nice. And he always needs to remind me that we are fine and we are, and I am grateful that we have a place to live, food to get and clothes on our backs. There are so many out there without even that!

So, I get so frustrated when it seems that my peers have all of these things right now. But my friend, Kayla reminded me a few weeks ago when we were talking, that though they have all of these things they can't actual afford them. A little light went off in my head; what I do without now for things I need will benefit us in the future. My little Oprah, "AHA! Moment!"

These peers are probably running themselves into consumer debt trying to "Keep Up with the Karadashians/Jones!" (By the way, I am boycotting the Karadashian shows because they are millionaires and do not need my money or time as it is. Why don't you but $600 towards charity instead of your shoes, Kim? Again, I am bitter but you never hear about them ever giving to charities.)

I am proud to say that, although TjMaxx, Old Navy, and Target price tags scare me right now (oh sad is that. This is how much I worry about our finanical future), I am not running me or my husband into debt! We pay our bills in full every month and are trying to find ways to cut back on things. We don't eat out as much as we used too, I do a lot of window shopping/daydreaming, and we take care our needs rather than our wants. I work 2 part-time jobs (though I am never scheduled at one anymore, agh!) and I still do not even make half of what my husband does! I am so beyond grateful for him, I can't even begin to describe it!

I would love a full-time job not only for how it could relax my fears of finanical ruin but also that if anything happened Jon, I would not need to depend on our families for finanical support!

Guess this has turned into more of a rant than a musing! Oops! But don't you feel the same way?

Thursday, June 21, 2012

It's a Duncan's Life!

This is the weekly post from the prespective of my dog, Duncan! Enjoy!

This past week wasn't that super exciting though I did get a pool day out at my grandparents with my boy cousin, Ben!

This is Ben!

In case you were wondering, I don't like water, so I did not part take in swimming.

Hey! My grandma was really nice and kept me supplied with water.

This is my mom and me!

She loves me! :)
Tired and hot on the way home!

And let's go to sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Come back next week for more pictures of my week! I think there is another pool day at Grandma and Grandpa Carroll's!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

It's a Dog's Life

I am going to try something new! I am going to try and make a weekly post from Duncan's prospective (aka put of photos of Duncan from the week and give an explanation as to what dog-friendly activity we have done, the weird stuff he does, or things we love about the D-can-man!

I got to go to work with my mom this week!

Hopefully, Jon and I aren't the only people who give their pets voices and pretend to speak for them! Duncan has two very distinct personalities from us, one is the normal, Duncan, which is a little boy voice  and the other is the proper, chap, Duncan Hill.

So, my mom promises to take more pictures of me on adventures to post for everyone! Hopefully, my dad gets on the picture bandwagon too! Until next week hopefully, Duncan!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me!

My birthday was Friday, June 1st!!! I love my birthday because for me, it is the official start to summer! And I am a firm believe that as I get older I no longer just have a day, I am currently up to my birthday week! Break down of celebrations:

Wednesday (before B-day): Dinner at Biaggi's with the In-Laws; Jay and Susan!

Friday (The Big Day!): Dinner at The Packing House with my creators! Followed by trips to Wal-Mart, Menard's, and DQ for some ice cream (my fav)!

Wednesday (after B-day): Staff lunch at Sushigawa with the Pastors (Josh & Isaac)!

Here are  a few photos from the celebrations:
With my Bubbas Duncan! He is my child!

Mom & the Big Guy (aka Dad) @ their house

Me and the Hubs @ my parents

And of course the traditionally "Sitting on Dad's Lap" picture!
This last pic is a a tradition that me and my sisters, Elisabeth and Maggie, have all done every year for our birthdays since our day of birth! Legit!

Oh and for those who are wondering I am now the big 2-4!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Am I the Only One?

Am I the only one, who despite knowing how blessed my life is who sometimes feels that there is something missing?

Last September, I started going to a bible study that lasted until mid-May. And I must say that in my entire Christian life I learned more in this one bible study than ever before! Which right now, I am so grateful to have experienced because remembering the lessons from this past year while on summer break is helping me to remember to shake off this feeling!

Since, graduating from college 2 years ago (cray cray!!), I have struggled to find a full-time/career job. I have worked several part-time retail jobs along with my job at my church (2 years in July :)!) However, society tells us that if you don't have a full-time/career job right out of the gates or within that first year, you are a failure.

And I definitely have been feeling that lately, especially with wanting to be able to make improvements to my home which we can't afford (remodeling, new furniture, etc.) or wishing that I didn't feel so guilty for wanting/purchasing a few new clothes and shoes. Now granted, most of this is self-inflicted because we would be fine if I got a few new summer tops but for me, I would rather save that money for a bigger purchase later. And that is just plain, old-fashion intelligence in my opinion!

I need to remember that God has blessed my life and my husband's, we both jobs when there are not a lot out there, a house, both families, etc! But it is hard to remember when these selfish wants consume my mind, I now know that this is sin working in my life to lead me away from God. Especially, my jealously towards other young couples who seem to have all the material goods I desire right now!

Luckily through my bible study, I have a made a great friendship with another girl, Kayla, who is in a very similar boat to me, who reminded me that most of those young couples who seem to have everything, can't actually afford the lifestyle and are only driving themselves deeper into to debt.

I need to remember, that I am doing what God has planned for me at this exact time and he will always provide what we NEED and not always what we WANT! And sometimes we need to struggle through a trail for the Lord to grow us in our faith!