Am I the only one, who despite knowing how blessed my life is who sometimes feels that there is something missing?
Last September, I started going to a bible study that lasted until mid-May. And I must say that in my entire Christian life I learned more in this one bible study than ever before! Which right now, I am so grateful to have experienced because remembering the lessons from this past year while on summer break is helping me to remember to shake off this feeling!
Since, graduating from college 2 years ago (cray cray!!), I have struggled to find a full-time/career job. I have worked several part-time retail jobs along with my job at my church (2 years in July :)!) However, society tells us that if you don't have a full-time/career job right out of the gates or within that first year, you are a failure.
And I definitely have been feeling that lately, especially with wanting to be able to make improvements to my home which we can't afford (remodeling, new furniture, etc.) or wishing that I didn't feel so guilty for wanting/purchasing a few new clothes and shoes. Now granted, most of this is self-inflicted because we would be fine if I got a few new summer tops but for me, I would rather save that money for a bigger purchase later. And that is just plain, old-fashion intelligence in my opinion!
I need to remember that God has blessed my life and my husband's, we both jobs when there are not a lot out there, a house, both families, etc! But it is hard to remember when these selfish wants consume my mind, I now know that this is sin working in my life to lead me away from God. Especially, my jealously towards other young couples who seem to have all the material goods I desire right now!
Luckily through my bible study, I have a made a great friendship with another girl, Kayla, who is in a very similar boat to me, who reminded me that most of those young couples who seem to have everything, can't actually afford the lifestyle and are only driving themselves deeper into to debt.
I need to remember, that I am doing what God has planned for me at this exact time and he will always provide what we NEED and not always what we WANT! And sometimes we need to struggle through a trail for the Lord to grow us in our faith!