Thursday, October 24, 2013

Man Up or Shut Up

I'm beyond excited and happy for my friend, Kayla and her husband who welcomed their first baby in September, Wesley Collins M.

But this has brought up the conversation of starting a family with my own husband. Especially, since his really good friend and his wife are also expecting their first son later this fall. (Seriously, Baby-apocalypse!)

I get that this is just the stage of life we are in and we've had the "when" talk and both agree we can wait a while longer. After seeing my sister's go through pregnancy, labor, delivery, and coming home, I'm good to hold off for a while yet. (I ain't going in blind to pregnancy, delivery or home care).

However, through talking with Jon and hearing other men talk about babies. I have only found a limited amount that seem to be really pumped about being first-time dads or looking forward to it or were the one pushing more for starting their families.

Which got me to thinking: Why are men taught to dread fatherhood?

Pop cultural seems to give becoming a father a negative view. Now, I know they usually show the guy freaking out about it (which I would be worried if you weren't, I've hit the panic button on even thinking about starting myself) but also that having a baby ruins your life. And usually at the end of a movie its about how much they have changed their view of fatherhood in 30 seconds.

Why not show a man who looks forward to starting a family with his wife? Not one where the wife pushes and nags him into it but a guy who truly understands the precious gift that the couple is giving to each other?

Is it considered unmanly to want to have children? Or a trap? Is it wrong of me to want my husband to be excited about having children someday? (I mean its not like he's gotta do the whole carrying, baking, and birthing bit).

Or is it just the responsibility of caring and providing for another human that is yours for keeps? And needing to be completing unselfish?

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